Week eight of lockdown was a challenging one in our household. With my husband working long hours from the spare bedroom, it fell to me to become chief teacher, cook, cleaner, dog walker and all-round operative of essential domestic tasks. On the school front, we had a day of big emotions as I tried to navigate a tired, dyslexic child through spellings and syntax, realising how difficult learning must be when words don’t arrive in their regular formations. I felt guilty for my older son, too, so accepting of the lack of attention offered to him as he squirrels away at his papers, or taps out assignments on the Chromebook at his desk.
On weekdays, we follow our well-trodden routine – breakfast at eight, P.E. with Joe at nine, school work at ten…..and then coffee, always so welcome at ten-thirty. We work on until lunch, avert our eyes to the dishes, eat, eat, and eat again, and wind up the school day by one-thirty (and if this doesn’t happen by one-thirty, it is likely we are having a Very Difficult Day indeed). We attend to the dishes, trying not to feel sad that the dishwasher we ordered has been delayed, leaving us to play out small scenes of domestic frustration in our kitchen. Later, we walk our dog, and every other day, our neighbour’s dog. Outside of our own household, we realise that the little dog next door has become the most familiar face we see.
On walks (of which we can now do more than one), we see light and shade, the seasons, nature – all condensed into a circular daily outing. Ironically, I see more people than I ever did pre-lockdown, as everyone takes advantage of the only outdoor time human beings in a pandemic can legitimately take. Most people smile and wave, but one cyclist passes with an angry shout, the substance of which is lost to the wind, who like me, seems to find no reason to justify it. I walk along the beach, noticing two bags of rubbish someone has left there. I feel dismal, trying to pick up the worst of the flying debris before it is lost to the sea and the wind, vast elemental forces forced to shore up careless actions and uninvited words.
On the walk home, I notice a teddy, hanging tied to a post with string – a dispatch to an erstwhile owner. There is something quietly tragic about the bear, his downcast expression, the sense of loss that permeates the air he swings in – a loss which suddenly seems to converge with all the other losses in the world. I resolve that if the bear finds his owner, all will be well, and there is still a place for happy endings. Back home, I share his image on social media and wonder how many other people attribute human emotions to stuffed teddies. Thirty minutes later, I am still thinking about the bear.

The next day, my husband’s parents leave a bag of kindness on our doorstep. It’s a packed lunch made for all of us – a gesture of care wrapped up in brown paper and serviettes. My friend, too, leaves me a home-made card and fragranced soap, and a teacher sends a message reminding my son (and us) that we are doing brilliantly.
When I go for my next walk, the little bear is gone, the space he left filled not with loss, but a sense of hopefulness.
I see light and shade all around me.
And I stride onwards, turning my face towards the sun.
Gx
I would have been the same about the teddy. It sounds like you guys are in a great routine. I tend to just muddle through the day with shhh I’m on a call or can you finish your school work first. I know what you mean about one kid getting more attention. We have that with my oldest. But yes, it must be so difficult when you are unable to put yourself in their shoes and things don’t come through the way they do normally. You are doing great hon. Lots of love xxx
And you are doing great, too, Susan! Hope you are having a good week. X
Beautiful writing x
Thankyou so much Lisa. Hope you’re doing well. X
You got me again, Gail! I love how you see deep stuff in the every day and capture it so beautifully in words. How wonderful of your parents to pop that on your doorstep. Week 8 was quite weird here too but this week has been better – little drops of light seeping in 🙂
Thanks Suzanne, yes this period has really made me focus on the small stuff – I’m glad you enjoy reading about it. And those little acts of kindness do make all the difference. I’m glad you’ve been having a better week this week. xx
What a beautiful post I totally understand it is not easy to be mom teacher cook wife cleaner and the list goes on I wish all the work we do was more visible and appreciated by everyone I used to be a teacher but I am not a teacher when I home school my children I am a mom who work 7 days no longer as a teacher but these times are extremely challenging for families. So glad things are getting slowly back to our normal and nice to hear you are seeing people and that the teddy bear is hopefully safe home making a child smile have a wonderful weekend xoxo Cris
http://www.photosbycris.com.au/?p=6040
Thankyou so much, it sounds like you are having a busy time too! x
What parents have been doing with homeschooling is heroic. Well done to you for balancing everything. I hope one outcome will be that people value teachers more. It’s not a career I could have done – my one year of teaching as an English language assistant in a French high school convinced me of that! My husband and daughter (who is with us for the duration) are both working full time remotely, which means I have all day to myself. A few support chats during the day with our son, working from home in a city and feeling very alone in his one person flat. Sometimes I do feel on a hamster wheel of preparing meals and washing up (no dishwasher either, as we’re halfway through a stalled house renovation, and have a temporary kitchen in what was a bathroom!), but I have a glorious opportunity to get the neglected garden in hand and have to confess to enjoying it. We moved to my late parents’ house a couple of years ago but this is the first chance to attack the garden. School holidays are beginning to appear on the horizon – hang in there!
Thanks Linda. That sounds really hard for your son, being alone in the city right now. It’s wonderful, though. that we have the technology to keep in touch. I can relate to the hamster wheel thing, although our new dishwasher has arrived since I wrote this – what a difference it makes! Hope you are enjoying your time in the garden with the lovely weather this weekend. It will be lots of hard work, you’ll be sleeping well at night! x