Over the last few days, I’ve found myself returning time and again to the same question: how on earth did we get to the point where our eldest son is just about to leave primary school? The second half of the academic year has literally flown by, and it seems only a blink since I wrote about our year of small goodbyes as I looked ahead to what 2019 would have in store. The last few weeks have been a series of ‘lasts’ – last sports day, last report card, last school disco. In a week or so, my son will have a two-day trial at secondary school, and we’ll have a chance to go and visit the place where he’ll be spending much of the next six years. There will be a leavers assembly too, where us Mums and Dads will get the chance to see our kids perform a sort of swan song to their seven years of primary school.
It all feels like a line is being drawn in the sand, somehow.
A line, that if I’m being honest, I’m not quite ready to step across.
But cross it we must, towards changes that will impact in different ways on all of us. It seems odd to think of picking my youngest child up from school without waiting for his brother to exit with him from the gate. It seems strange to think of sports days and concerts where I observe as the Mother of only one participant; memories of my eldest’s involvement still so connected to my whole sense of the place. Of course, my eldest will still be around, doing his thing elsewhere, but at the moment that all seems so remote from us. I’m wallowing. I know this. This is a corner I’m simply struggling to turn.
And it’s not just me, of course, who’ll be affected – there will be changes for my youngest son too, as he adapts to the school routine without the constant presence of an older sibling. Our boys get on well together and share many common friendships – I know they’ll miss the loss of that daily contact with one another (although of course they’ll have plenty to catch up on when they both get in from school).
There will be earlier starts and new horizons – the eldest has already come home excitedly clutching details of his impending registration class. When I look back over the last few months I can see there have been many small acts of letting go, of slackening the reigns, of stepping back a bit. But that’s parenthood, I suppose, isn’t it? You watch them grow, you have to let them fly.
And when I look at my son, brimming with excitement about the prospect of this new adventure, I put on my brightest smile despite myself. I see the same kind, sweet boy who started primary school, the same quiet, easy-going manner that has made being Mum to him a breeze.
And I remember that when you’re walking away from something, you’re really walking towards something different. That when you’re saying goodbye to one thing, you’re saying hello to something else. That when one thing comes to an end, something else begins. The never ending cycle.
And the summer stretches out in front of us like a blanket.
A summer of firsts and lasts and every small moment in between.
Gx
This is very bittersweet in a way. I was where you are last summer and I am glad to have this year behind us. Lots of firsts this year, but it was a bit learning curve for us all. I hope you have a wonderful summer xx
Thankyou Susan. Same to you guys. Yes, I think it will be a big learning curve. My husband and I went to the same school ourselves in fact, but so much has changed now and it all seems so long ago! Xx
CHOOSING THE RIGHT SCHOOL IS IMPORTANT BUT LIFE ITSELF KEEPS RUSHING BY SO JUST ENJOY IT, CHINA
china.alexandria@livingthedream.blog
Wise words, China. Thankfully we only have one secondary school here so we don’t have to worry about the choice element, which saves a lot of worrying. Life does go by so fast, doesn’t it? I just want to slow this summer down! 😊
I have this next year and am already finding the small steps of letting go difficult, but am trying hard to accept that he wants in some ways to be big and other ways to be little. The best I can be is his mum and we will both walk the next step together. Thinking of you and hoping for you a lovely summer inbetween.
Oh thankyou Sonya. It’s difficult to balance the wanting to let them grow, and the wanting to hold on tight, isn’t it? You’re right, though, just letting them know we’re always there for them is enough. X
Life really does fly by so blooming fast doesn’t it? I remember my son leaving primary school like it was yesterday but he’s soon to be finishing his 3rd year at secondary and going into GCSEs! They do grow up so fast once they go to secondary school. I hope you don’t cry to much at all of the ‘lasts’, it’s an emotional time for sure. xx
It is, Suzanne, and yes, life is going by so quickly! I’m wondering if this is the worst bit – all the lasts and so on – and whether after the summer it will all seem a bit less raw! We are now at the stage of transition days and information evenings so my son has been really excited. It’s emotional, but also fantastic to see him so eager to move on and spread his wings to something new. xx